My Prayer of Lament
In this blog post, Andrew Rutten, one of Providence’s co-pastors, writes a prayer of lament, or a cry of grief and sorrow to the Lord, after receiving the news that his kidney transplant surgery was again postponed.
By Andrew Rutten, Providence Pastor and Co-Planter, written on August 4, 2021
Some of the great treasures of the Psalms are the prayers of lament recorded for us. These psalms, or prayers, are the cries of the hurting people of God, wrestling with the goodness of God and the tragedies of life. They are words for the speechless souls when the darkest moments cause us to be mute. They can prove to be a template for Christians when we must also wrestle with God over the trials and tribulations of our own lives.
It seems to me that Psalms of lament (such as 10, 13, 22, 38, 130, and many more) should guide us as we lament in our own day. But it seems appropriate that with these Psalms as our guide, we may write our own grieving laments to our God. Therefore, as I received crushing news about a pending surgery, my soul felt in anguish, as the Psalmists often declare (such as Psalm 6).
So, the following is a psalm of lament from my own heart. My prayer of wrestling with God, revealing my frustration, stating my questions, and ultimately placing my hope in His hands.
Specifically guiding my prayer of lament was Psalm 6, 13, and 22. Also influencing my confidence in the Lord was Romans 8:31-39. The final refrain that is repeated is from the song, “Now Why This Fear.”
I hope this prayer might offer insight into my own soul and encourage you in your moment of affliction.
O Lord, My God,
I have trusted in You and lived to serve You;
I have forsaken old ways and walked in righteousness.
Why, then, O my God, have You struck me down this day?
Why do You cause more grief to a weary man’s frail soul?
Do I deserve to feel abandoned? Is it my life that must hang in the balance?
Why do You cause more grief to a weary man’s frail soul?
Will good ever come again? Will my pain ever be healed and my calamity ever be resolved?
Why do You cause more grief to a weary man’s frail soul?
O Lord, You are the God who created all things, seen and unseen.
You are the God and Father of Abraham, Moses, David, and our Lord Jesus Christ.
You are the God who breathed life into creation and new life into Your new creation.
You are the God who has healed at will and made right what has gone wrong.
Yet, O Lord, You have not looked to me in healing.
You have withheld your powerful right hand.
You have restrained physical healing.
You have suppressed your goodness to me.
O Lord, your sovereignty extends to the heavens,
your providence directs all life,
yet, will You continue to let me suffer day after day?
My God, You are my only hope and salvation,
only to You can I cry.
My heart is filled with despair,
my eyes well with tears,
my spirit writhes in anguish.
It is more than disappointment, it is sorrow and despondency.
Will good ever come again? Will health ever be restored?
Will this season ever end? Will a brighter tomorrow ever be guaranteed?
O Lord, I trust in You not because of what my circumstances say;
my hope lies not in what I have done.
But it is because of your great faithfulness to me that I will trust in You.
New every morning and afresh every evening,
your mercy and faithfulness carry me in my despair.
Triune God, You have proven faithful,
faithful as You sent your Son for me,
faithful as You took the cross for me,
faithful as You awoke lifeless bones for me.
For if my God is for me, who can stand against me?
Can my despair overcome me?
Can my sorrow overwhelm me?
My Jesus has died to redeem me,
my Savior has rescued all of me.
The darkness cannot match the Light of the world,
the dimmest of days is a faint moment in time,
but the Light of life is everlasting.
Jesus, all my trust is in your blood,
You’ve rescued me through your great love.
You, O Lord, my God, can restore to me life and joy.
When the arrows pierce my flesh, it is You who heals my despair.
When discouragement riddles my soul, it is You who comforts my dejection.
So today, my God,
I come to You for comfort,
I run to You for joy,
I look to You for hope.
Do not leave me in my pit of discouragement.
My God,
You have saved my life,
You have rescued my soul,
You have awakened my heart.
Jesus, all my trust is in Your blood,
You’ve rescued me through your great love.